I once saw the great Bob Gill deliver a lecture at the Art College here in Norwich. It was entertaining, inspirational and full of great advice and insight. Bob was warm, funny and loveable in a way that cantankerous and opinionated men of advanced years often are. He spoke in a rich, working-class Brooklyn accent and, whether taking questions or reminiscing about the good old days, he kept his audience absolutely transfixed throughout.

The thing that struck me most about his lecture was his contention that good graphic design is all about ideas – and not just about execution. I was struck by this mainly because most of the graphic design I seem to see is more concerned with form than it is with content. So while there is often an impressive use of colours, shapes and typography to create visually compelling images, there aren’t that many actual ideas. And I think that’s largely because many graphic designers these days aren’t actually thinkers. They’re doers – who too often simply follow prevailing trends and/or reference other designers’ work. Talented, yes. But lacking that genuine creative spark.

Gill’s Words Into Pictures is quite an unassuming volume that features, on every page, the name of something (a company, a product, a brand etc) made visually interesting. Whether it’s a preliminary doodle or a fully-fledged logo, what they all have in common is that they emerged from, and work as, a proper idea. And yes, some of them look a little dated, a little simple even – but it’s just so refreshing to see graphic design that is genuinely clever and interesting and so much more than just being good to look at. Oh, and because it features the work of other designers (including luminaries such as George Lois, Milton Glaser and Alan Fletcher) there’s a real variety throughout.

So if you’re looking for a bit of inspiration and want to be reminded of how clever, delightful and inventively simple great graphic design can be, buy this book now. £12.78 from Amazon.

Including this much-loved classic:

Still, it’s always nice to see them at work.

The rather hackneyed premise that Lynx is basically a magnet for women was previously delivered with a great deal of wit and charm. It had to be – not simply because the idea was so ludicrous (have you ever had a whiff of Lynx?) but also because it enabled them to get around any charges of sexism. They were so obviously tongue-in-cheek that even the most ardent offence-seeker would be forced to look elsewhere.

Their latest ad has taken everything a step further, and maybe a step too far. Lynx no longer just attracts gorgeous women, it now reduces anyone who smells it, man or woman, to the level of the animals, unable to control their lust. Delivered in the style of a news bulletin, the Lynx effect is now a worldwide epidemic that is destroying society. In this respect, it’s an obvious – and rather clunky – homage to the millions of zombie things we’ve seen a million times before.

I don’t understand the thinking behind this. It creates a scenario that no-one in their right mind would want. At least with the older ads you can imagine that the majority of men would regard being chased by hundreds of scantily-clad women as something rather desirable. At least on the surface. But as I say, those ads were charming and funny – they told us something about Lynx as a brand.

Perhaps it would have worked better if the being-unable-to-control-their-lust scenario was presented as something fun and desirable. Maybe it should have been about the positive aspects of lifting people’s inhibitions so they can enjoy themselves – rather than the negativity of falling prey to something that screws up their lives.

I wish I could express myself in the way that George Parker does. But I’m too needy and craven and desperate not to offend – or, more accurately, desperate not to put off potential clients.

What I love about George is that his don’t give a shit-ness seems utterly genuine. On top of that, he’s funny, clever, foul-mouthed and almost always right. He’s like the Mark E Smith of advertising.

I’m currently reading his new book, Confessions of A Mad Man (which had me laughing like an idiot while I was sat in A&E last week getting my severely bruised arm looked at). Packed with insight and filled with fruity flavour, it captures all the thrills and spills of what seems like a golden age of advertising. I found the opening chapter, where he’s in wide-eyed wonder at New York, quite moving – not least because it mirrors my own experience of first arriving in that wonderful city: it’s exactly as you thought and hoped it would be.

So first things first: buy his new book. It’s only available on Kindle but, as I happily discovered, there’s a Kindle app so you can also read it on your phone. Or PC or Mac. Available here for the ridiculously low price of £3.18: CONFESSIONS OF A MAD MAN.

I’d also highly recommend buying his other great books: The Ubiquitous Persuaders and MadScam. (If you’re a potential client reading this, please don’t buy the latter book – it tells you everything you need to know about why you probably don’t need to work with an agency.)

Best of all though, visit and bookmark his fantastic blog (below). It’s just an endless – and endlessly updated – source of pleasure.

Here’s to George Parker: a f**king prince.

GEORGE PARKER: ADSCAM/THE HORROR!

Transgendered people: They look like blokes in drag! And dogs! Ha ha!

Of course, the problem with criticising something like this is that you run the risk of being labelled a humourless, free-speech bashing killjoy. By fans of Jeremy Clarkson. And Daily Mail readers. Because after all, it’s only a bit of fun, isn’t it?

I’m not in favour of banning anything. Let it run. But we should at least be allowed to state that it’s a stupid, clumsy, deliberately offensive, unfunny piece of crap that’s designed to appeal to all those idiots who think that Chris Moyles is funny and that, you know, it’s about time political correctness got a good kicking.

The problem is that there’s too much of this kind of thing out there. A kind of Little Britain-ish sneering at anyone who sits outside of the right-wing media approved norm. So it’s no surprise that Paddy Power’s other ad (below) attacks ‘Chavs’. Because we don’t do enough demonising of working-class people – those workshy, ignorant, tasteless, violent, drunk, racist pigs need shooting.

It’ll be gypsies next. And then they may as well follow in the footsteps of Frankie Boyle and have a go at disabled people.

Ha ha! People in wheelchairs with funny faces and funny voices! Ha ha!

What? It’s only a joke, what’s the matter with you?

I grew up with kids who lived like this, Who lived in absolute squalor and poverty, whose houses reeked of piss and booze and filth. Who lived with abusive, indifferent parents who didn’t feed or clothe them properly.

While I admire what this ad is trying to do, I don’t think it captures well enough how thoroughly frightening and depressing living like this can be. The same applies to the main image on The Children’s Panel website. The dad, slumped in his chair, is almost a comedy figure. And ‘dark place’ is too weak a term to get across what it must be like for kids like her.

Still, I assume there’s only so far they can go before they upset taste guardians and the like. Ultimately then, it’s at least a step in the right direction.

If it were me, I’d have gone for a simple campaign along the lines of: “If you want everyone to know what a f**king idiot you are, carry on smoking in your car.” That’s the kind of thing that really bothers people – what other people think of them.

More from Fresh Start Wales.

Still, I think we all lament the loss of professional snappers in agencies and agree that stock photography is mostly horrible.

But often unintentionally funny, as they are here. Click the pic to see Women Laughing Alone With Salad.

Here’s that Vodofone ad featuring Yoda. You’ve all seen it by now so I’ll refrain from mentioning how terrible it is. But it is terrible isn’t it? I think what I like least is the fact that, even given the rubbish idea of having Yoda in their ad, it’s just so lacklustre. It gives up about halfway through – the characters may as well just sit there staring at each other. If you’re going to do a Star Wars ad, at least have fun with it.

As Woolworths did below. Great set up, great use of Darth Vader and a great punchline. They even manage to get over what was good about Woolworths. But obviously not well enough…

From 1965, a series of Egg Marketing Board ads featuring Tony Hancock (with able support from Patricia Hayes).

They’re essentially mini versions of the Hancock TV and radio series, with the lad himself reprising his downtrodden, though curiously self-important, persona. As well as being funny, they also manage to get across that they’re all about eggs.

And Woody Allen’s Bananas.

(Embedding is disabled on this video so you have to click the picture to go through to YouTube and then press play and… )

One of the best things about A Technique For Producing Ideas is that it’s only around 50 (very small) pages long. It can be read in less than an hour. So if you’re one of those advertising people who doesn’t like to read books, this is an excellent way to dip your illiterate toe into the vast, thrilling waters of discovery and knowledge.

Written by legendary ad man James Webb Young, and first published in the 1940s, the book delivers an almost foolproof method for generating ideas. When I first read it I was hoping to discover some kind of magical creative formula. There is a magical formula but, as it turned out, it was almost exactly the same formula I had always relied on – whether that was for advertising or the other creative thingies I’ve been involved in. What I mainly took from the book was that it was absolutely fine for me to have that (long) moment of putting things completely out of my mind and waiting for the idea to just miraculously appear. I’d always thought that was just my own combination of arrogance, laziness and wishful thinking.

The technique basically consists of the following five stages:

1. Do your research.

2. Absorb the material you’ve gathered.

3. Forget about it.

4. Experience the aha! moment.

5. Work on your idea.

Of course, if it were as easy as that you wouldn’t need to read the book. Which is just as well because it’s in the actual reading that the magic really happens. Quite simply, Young was a beautiful – and beautifully clear – writer. His words go in and they stay in.

The blurb on the back cover says: ‘Young’s unique insights will help you look inside yourself to find that big, elusive idea – and once and for all lift the mystery from the creative process.’ Well, it certainly does that. But there is a caveat – this formula won’t work if you’re not a creative person. As far as Young’s concerned (taking his cue from the theories of the Italian sociologist Pareto) there are two types of people: speculators and stockholders. So if you’re in the latter camp, you’d probably be wasting your time reading the book.

Available here – brand spanking new. If you get nothing else from it, you’ll at least discover whether you’re a speculator or a stockholder.

But then I saw the ad.

If you’re going to reference one of the most iconic, best-loved films of the eighties it’s probably a good idea to attempt to capture some its charm, energy and humour. Something this ad singularly fails to do. Broderick seems tired, slow and embarrassed. But then, maybe that’s the point: you reach fifty and… well, the Honda CR-V is the best you can hope for.

Fifty though. He doesn’t look fifty, does he?

There are also a number of Dali ads and TV spots listed here on the excellent UBUWEB.

This slick and noisy production makes good use of its stars: Gary Oldman is superb as the devil, Clive Owen is unflappably cool as Mr Brown’s driver, the silly Marilyn Manson pulls off a neat comic turn and James Brown is, quite simply, James Brown.

The best thing about the film is that it’s basically a loving homage to a genuine cultural giant. It’s quite poignant in places, with Brown himself acknowledging the downside of growing old. Overall though, it’s just great seeing him enjoy himself.

The only sour note is that, when all’s said and done, it’s a commercial for a car. And if anyone should have been beyond hawking his talents in ads, it should have been James Brown.

Oh, and it’s directed by Tony Scott.

Show it to a load of random people in the street and ask them what they think.

I have a few problems with focus groups. My biggest is with business people who are willing to take guidance from them. It’s as if they’ve no confidence in their own judgment and abilities.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to research and testing. That is, proper research and testing: intelligent, targeted and capable of yielding credible results.

No, my problem is with focus groups that involve a load of strange people sitting in a room desperately trying to think of something interesting and valid to say about something they don’t give a stuff about.

And I use the word strange because I have to ask: what kind of people agree to take part in such exercises? Normal people have got much better things to do with their time.

In my industry – advertising – focus groups play a major role. They’re used by twitchy marketing managers and cowardly creative directors as insurance against the failure of ad campaigns: “Well, the focus group told us that was the way to go so it’s not our fault it all went wrong.”

What agencies should do is more forcefully present themselves to their clients as the experts they are: “This is what we do and we’re very good at it. And no, it’s not just a matter of opinion – because our opinion on what makes a good campaign is much more valid than the opinion of some bod in the street. Or the girl who does your photocopying.”

This kind of thinking, of course, should also apply to anyone launching a new product, service or idea. Why take on board the opinions of people put together in a totally false environment over a bowl of crisps, when you’ve got people who really know a thing or two at your disposal?

I’d like to see a bit more courage out there. More risk-taking. A few more of what we used to call men (and women) of vision. People who know their minds, who know how to make decisions and who know how to stick to them.

So next time you’re about to launch something, why not go with what you think is right? Or with what the experts you employ think is right. Don’t insult yourself, or them, by taking on board the views of people you wouldn’t normally trust to tie your shoes. You should also avoid, by the way, soliciting the opinions of your wife, husband, friend, eight-year-old daughter or the thirty-eight colleagues you share an office with.

And you could do worse than taking something from what Henry Ford had to say on the matter: “If I’d asked my customers what they wanted, I’d have built a faster horse.”

Jukebox, Marketing Agency, Norwich, UK

The Book Cover Archive

Perfect Pitch, the first of our advertising book recommendations, is written by Jon Steel, one of the world’s best-known account planners. Planners, for those who don’t know, are usually employed by big advertising agencies who need to throw away more money on salaries. In smaller agencies, planners are there to make up for the quality of the creatives. That is, they do a kind of bridging job between account handlers and those creatives who believe that all that pesky strategy stuff is nothing to do with them and is somehow not related to the task of creating an advertising campaign.

Jon Steel is – or, rather, was – an extremely good planner. And also a very creative planner, involved in some fantastic campaigns. (Actually, rather than bang on about his experience here, I’ll refer you instead to his excellent book Truth, Lies and Advertising – a must-read for anyone in the ad industry.)

Perfect Pitch is subtitled ‘The Art of Selling Ideas and Winning New Business’. Over the course of a number of individual chapters and case studies, Steel tells us, first of all, what’s wrong with most presentations and how they could be vastly improved. One of the easiest, and best, ways to do this is to stop using PowerPoint. Not just because it’s often full of dopey graphics and spelling mistakes, but because it makes both the presenter and the audience lazy and creates a real barrier between them. On their own, Steel’s funny, and entirely correct, rants about PowerPoint more than justify the price of the book.

Covering every aspect of the pitch process, Steel shares what is often, but often forgotten, commonsense advice on how to deliver good ideas in the best, and most creative, way possible. This includes things like the value of listening, the importance of research, on using presenters who are confident and, more importantly, likeable. The overall message of the book is basically that the purpose of a pitch is to win, not necessarily to be right.

To illustrate this Steel provides numerous examples of great pitches, such as: Johnny Cochrane’s masterful demolition of the prosecution in the OJ Simpson trial, Bill Clinton’s presidential debates, Winston Churchill and Martin Luther King’s speeches and even the calling cards of a London prostitute. All highly entertaining and illuminating.

Right from the start of the book we know we’re being led to the final chapter which is about how the British Olympic team won the bid, against all the odds, to host the 2012 games in London. It was, as Steel makes plain, quite simply the perfect pitch – that is, they got absolutely everything right. As well as being inspiring and thrilling, the story, thanks in large part to Steel’s interpretation, is also incredibly moving. It’s the perfect way to end the book.

Perfect Pitch isn’t just for advertising people. It can be a manual for anyone who, at any time, needs to sell their ideas. So if you’re pitching a film, a game or even presenting your plans for the forthcoming WI Xmas party, this book will help you to do it properly. In fact, Steel illustrates this nicely by writing – again, quite movingly – about how he successfully proposed to his wife.

But if you don’t fancy going to the trouble of actually reading the book, you can vastly improve your own pitch successes by doing one simple thing: getting rid of the PowerPoint.

Perfect Pitch is available here, in hardback, for only £13.19.

It’s this simple: If you want people to use your service, buy your product or visit your attraction, make sure your product, service or attraction is good. And then make sure you do good advertising to tell those people that your product, service or attraction is good. Not only will you make money, you’ll also build your brand – and build it properly. And if you don’t think it’s that simple, think for a moment about how the great brands out there got to be great brands.

But one of the things that annoys me most about the ‘brand/marketing strategy’ guff is its slippery pseudo-intellectual veneer. It’s an old trick, often played by academics, that’s designed to keep its practitioners in and everyone else out. By using obfuscating, intimidating language it protects itself from being called out as the rubbish it really is – because those that call bullshit are simply waved away with a patronising shake of the head and a suggestion that they’re too stupid to understand. This kind of thing has, of course, been a key tactic of the charlatan since the dawn of time.

Anyway, all of the above is really a way of linking to a fantastic piece of online software called the ‘Marketing Bullshit Generator’. Click the button and you’ll be instantly rewarded with a phrase that sounds exactly like the kind of thing you had to listen to during one of those meetings with one of those kinds of brand and marketing ‘experts’. Fun and empowering.

THE MARKETING BULLSHIT GENERATOR

Instead, here’s the greatest ever tourism video. Every city should have a promotional film like this: